Half Nuts

"Laugh at yourself. Only two things keep you from going insane - laughing and whiskey."

I’m going squirrelly.

You might be too. Check for clues.

We all have the hoarding instinct, especially older folks.

The pandemic is here, a time to store things, a time to replenish the larder for the coming economic depression. But are you going overboard? If you are, it could be a sign of aging and going squirrelly. Older folks love to hoard, stock up, replenish and store things to prepare for the winter, the hard times ahead or the upcoming apocalypse - Covid 19 seems to fit.

It has happened to me in the past. One day last spring, I went to the local supermarket. Wandering through the dental care aisle, I noticed dental floss on sale with a saving of 35% off the regular price. “Time to stock up,” I said to myself. I was going to buy 80 rolls of the stuff, but the cheap bastards had a limit of four items at the reduced sale price, and there were only four left on the shelf. I snapped those up right away. But how do I get 80 rolls at the sale price? Well, the sale was on all week. The shelves were restocked and I returned. I bought four more every time I entered the store. I made 20 trips between my car and the store. Now I have the 80 containers of the dental floss I need. Don’t laugh. It is a great investment. I saved 35%. Dental floss doesn’t rot, expire or deteriorate with age. Where can you get 35% return on your money these days? Banks give you one half of one percent or less if you are lucky. If I live to be 175 years old and don’t lose all my teeth before the dental floss runs out, I’ll have received a great return on my investment. Then Warren Buffet will come running to me for hot investment tips. I’m getting older. Maybe you’re aging too.

SOooooooooo, what are you hoarding?

Toilet paper?

Ammunition?

Love? Hugs and kisses?

Is it a time for sharing rather than hoarding?

I might be squirrelly, but I’m not nuts.

Week 2 of Covid 19 Crisis - March 28, 2020

Stay safe my friends.

Gerald M. Sliva