The Chef's Surprise

"I don't think there's any chef that is born great, like in music or sports. You have to burn yourself ..... messing up makes you a better chef." - DAVID CHANG

Thank you David Chang. I've burned myself. I've messed up. Am I a better chef?

It is Mother's Day folks! There was a time when life was simpler, when Mom did all the cooking. Hats off to all the Moms who lovingly prepared meals for the whole family and, on special occasions, ten or twenty more hungry guests. For a special dinner, she often had to start the night before, rise early, preparing and cooking all day to provide a gastronomic delight that her tribe wolfed down in record time. Then we often didn't even thank her. It was her job. We expected it!

Well, now it's our turn. The Covid 19 crisis is on. Restaurants are shuttered and "wanna be" chefs are trying to create home-cooked gourmet meals. This isolation experience, at it's best, will produce some great chefs. At its worst it will cause severe gastro-intestinal issues or some hurried trips to the emergency room.

During the pandemic, people are doing more of their own baking; so yeast and flour are in short supply. We have flour, but needed more yeast. Our son, ever prepared, went to a bakery and bought some sourdough starter back in March, just as the crisis unfolded. He had baked with it a few times with good results.

For those of you unfamiliar with sourdough starter, it is a natural yeast which requires daily care and nurturing. It is a gooey mixture of water, flour and natural yeast microbes which, to keep them alive, require a daily feeding of flour and water. Since it is fed daily, it grows - slowly - because it is kept in a sealed jar in the fridge. A week ago, our son shared half his growing sourdough starter with us. After feeding it daily for one week, I decided to attempt making buns with it.

I had previously used the breadmaking machine to make dough for buns, so this should be easy. Right? Wrong! Unfortunately, the proportions of liquid and solid ingredients are important in the baking of bread and buns. The machine had no instructions for using sourdough starter, but I decided to wing it.

My plan was to use half the yeast called for in the recipe, and half the sourdough starter I had (saving and feeding the remainder for another occasion). Since the sourdough starter is half water and half flour, I knew I had to cut back on the amount of liquid in the recipe. But, how much? I had to guesstimate and hope and pray for the best.

Putting all the ingredients into the bread maker, I turned it on to let it do its thing. First cycle is "kneading". After two minutes, I thought I had better check on it. Lifting the lid, I could see that the mixture had too much liquid. Easy solution! I added half a cup of flour, let it work for two more minutes, checked it again, and it was looking good. Now I had better leave it alone, letting it go through its cycles of kneading, resting, and rising until it is ready to form into beautiful buns.

While the bread machine is doing all the work, I can do some blog creation. One hour later, the bread machine beeps, I go to have a look, and see that the dough has not risen as it should. "Probably because sourdough starter is slower acting than commercial yeast," I thought to myself. Leave it a little longer. Half an hour later, Cecilia, the Mom/Grandma in the family has a peek at it. She reports that it still hasn't risen enough. We decide to keep on with our computer stuff and let the dough sit, and hopefully, rise.

After 45 minutes or so, I think it's time for another look. I head for the kitchen and am greeted by my dough attempting to escape from my bread making machine. I evidently had not incorporated enough flour into the mixture and the gooey, slimy mess was ready to explode, pushing up the lid of the machine and working its way over the edges of the container, attempting to leave the house via the patio doors.

What to do? I quickly unplugged the machine, grabbed the interior workings, plunked them on the kitchen counter, and hollered for help because by that time my hands were a slimy, gluey mess. While Cecilia threw some flour on the counter, I attempted to dump the contents of the bread machine out. Not so easy! The sticky wreck, which had previously been climbing out on its own, now refused to leave. I needed help. I asked Cecilia to get a spatula and more flour so I could try to tame the beast and get it into something resembling bread dough. WOW! Half an hour later, after adding who knows how much flour, and kneading and working and shaping the dough, I had shaped twelve beautiful buns in a pan, ready to let them rise before baking.

That was the easy part. By that time, the whole house was a disaster zone. Flour dust and gooey, sticky dough was all over me and half the kitchen. NOooooooo problem! Another half hour of soaking the interior workings in hot, soapy water and using a butter knife to scrape the already dried up mess out of the interior and exterior of the bread machine, and we were getting close to normal. All the screaming, crying and gnashing of teeth had subsided, and it was almost time to pop the risen buns into the hot oven.

SOooooooo, five and one-half hours later we had twelve quite tasty buns, a reasonably clean kitchen and a still intact marriage. I call that success!

Wasn't life was simpler when Mom did all the cooking?

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers out there. We miss you. Thank you for the love, the hard work, and great meals. We love you, Moms!

Stay safe.

Gerald M. Sliva

Week 8 of Covid 19 crisis - May 10, 2020

P.S. Ever wonder why all the men are called chefs and all the women are called cooks?

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